When diagnosed with a mental illness the first question that pulsed through my mind was "Why!?". I just could not believe thatI had manic depresssive illness and God had not protected me.Why oh why my heart cried! I had believed in a loving God since chidhood and now I questioned His abilities.If God is the manager of all things,how had He so grossly mismanaged my case? Why does God allow suffering.And although greater minds have grappled with these questions ,I needed to find answers for mysef.If I had a chronic life-long illnes, how was I to reconcile this with a lifelong faith in the divine?I must admit that my answer to many questions is "I don't know" But I have some thoughts on the subject.
     God is not the author of suffering.He is a loving God who aides us in our time of troubleSo where do these midnight's of the soul come from? The answer here is an I don't know . what I do know is that,perhaps,difficult times are a vehicle to bring us even closer to God. Perhaps they teach us humility,patience and reliance on a power greater than ourselves.I believe God never promised us an easy road ,but the strength to walk it with Him at our side.

getting it right.

After an extended stay at a hospital the first thing I wanted to do was take a walk.I had missed being outdoors and moving! I never want to have to return to the hospital again.This time I want to get it right.There are basic steps one must take to insure wellness. The following are some of those steps:
   1) Take your meds! Always ytake the right dose at the right time for an extended period of time.Never go
        off your meds or do anything with your medication routine without the advice and consent of your
        doctor
    2) Take your psychiatrist seriously.Hey, their advice is why they make the big bucks!Make sure you keep
         your appointments and follow their counsel.Don't try to call the shots when it comes to medication.
    3) See a licenced therapist. It's important to talk to a trained proffessional about what you are gong
         through.Talking it out is vital to recovery.I know it has saved my life to be able to work things out in a
         theraputic setting.
     4) Seek support! Go to a support group! You are not  alone and in  a support group you will fing those
         who experince and struggle like you do.Also enlist the support of family and friends. Resources such
          as NAMI and DBSA can help those in your life get educated about mental illness and be in a better
          postion to help you.
      5) Take courage! You are in a batttle for your life. The one thing you can not take is a courage pill.
           You can however look to your resources to help you summon it up. Family, friends, doctors,
            organizations such as NAMI all are there to give you the will to press on. There is so much to live
           for! In the throes of mental illness this notion may be hard to embrace ,But once again I quote Kay
           Jamison,"Look to th living ,love them,and hold on."