One of the biggest reasons I am concerned is that my self-confidence is shot. Nine months in a mental hospital will do that to you. As a result of the episode and the mental and emotional damage done , I am reluctant to engage with people. I sometimes feel that I have "Bipolar" stamped on my head. Surely people guess at my condition! So I shy away from human contact. Yet my job requires me to work with customers. Customer service is not an area that I would think I could excel at! However I am finding it enjoyable and gratifying to regain some of my confidence and work on engaging with others again. It takes alot of energy to focus on delivering customer service. You have to actively listen and pay attention to what someone wants and needs. You can't be stuck in your own head.
Paying attention is hard for me but is so neccesary in a working enviroment. Since my latest episode I find it very difficult to concentrate. I wander off.I get lost in my own thoughts and basically miss things.This is not a good way to be while working! So for 4 days a week I now have a set amount of time where I can practice mindfulness. I am forced to stay in the moment and focus on the present. My job requires me to accomplish small specific tasks that force you to be in the here and now. A doctor of mine once told me that repetitive work helps the healing of a bipolar brain. I can see how this is true. Small tasks organize your thinking and when accomplished (in a short amount of time) give you a boost in your self confidence.
There is nothing more gratifying than a job well done!
So I think that having this job is a winner all the way around. Despite my fears I am doing well. Sure it's an effort to put myself out there. I think I'll get better at that over time. Working will definitley aid in my recovery. Working with customers will help me get my personality back. Maybe some of the ravages of an episode will heal. This job is a small one, but it is going to allow me to practice being in the moment. I can see that it is good for me in so many ways.
There is nothing more gratifying than a job well done!
So I think that having this job is a winner all the way around. Despite my fears I am doing well. Sure it's an effort to put myself out there. I think I'll get better at that over time. Working will definitley aid in my recovery. Working with customers will help me get my personality back. Maybe some of the ravages of an episode will heal. This job is a small one, but it is going to allow me to practice being in the moment. I can see that it is good for me in so many ways.
