Easter hope.

Easter is a time of hope. It is the time of year when winter is over and the promises of spring begin to bloom. Not only is nature mounting a fresh start, I find myself beginning again in many of the areas affected by my mental illness. This is the time of year when I bring fresh ideas to the table and try to figure out better ways to deal with a chronic illness. The winter of my mind is over and with the beginning of spring I feel myself drawn to new ways of thinking.

I recently sought therapy because I felt stuck in my thinking. I deal with a chronic mental illness and the stress of navigating life with it is overwhelming. How I think about it all is often tainted by the symptoms of depression. I try to cope but very often find myself exhausted by the effort.

When I am tired my judgment is off. I find myself in the vicious cycle of depression. Because I am depressed I find myself isolating, avoiding activities that would require me to engage with others. Life becomes stale and I get further depressed. And so it goes, on and on. I need help at these times to gain a new perspective and make a new game plan.

I seek therapy when I am discontented. I know there needs to be a change in my thinking and as a result a change in my actions. The thing about therapy is that it initially makes me even more uncomfortable. I am challenged to see things in a different light from the perspective of a professional. The status quo will no longer do, and painful changes need to be made. It's a sometimes unpleasant process. It has been my experience however, that if you stick with it, hope starts to take hold and gives you the courage to face a new tomorrow. 

My new therapist is challenging my thinking and offering new ways to approach my battle with mental illness. Sometimes I need to "borrow" hope from another. Depression is a judgement killer and it is the worst of my symptoms. I look to gain new strategies from a trained eye to help me bring my thoughts into order. From the foundation of clear thinking, depression and it's symptoms can be addressed and my life begins to resemble something I can be proud of.

Hope in my experience is not some thing that is easily attained. You have to fight to continue on. Easter for me, is full of the message of hope. After the grey of winter, light suffuses the longer days and opportunites for new growth appear. Depression can give way to clarity, and from a clear perspective positive growth can happen. Mental illness or no, isn't growth what we all seek? Isn't the message of Easter that life, no matter how difficult can be transformed by hope?

So, I am undergoing a sort of "spring cleaning" of my mind. The old ways of coping just won't do anymore. I look forward to working with a therapist to clean out the clutter in my thinking and gain a new, fresh clear way of being. In this season of hope I am grateful that I am being challenged by friends family to reach a new level of wellness!