Full disclosure...

What to do? Do you disclose your mental illness to another or do you keep it private. ? It's a tough decision. If you had cancer it would not be shameful to disclose your condition. However there is a major stigma regarding mental illness. I find that not only do I recognize the stigma, I also keep quiet about my bipolar disorder because I am ashamed. People are still uninformed about diseases of the brain, and I am afraid I will be met with ignorance. I realize that unless people like me disclose,  mental illness will never be fully understood and accepted . Yet I still struggle to speak up.

Like anyone else I want people to see me in the best light possible. When you tell someone you have a major mental illness you run the risk of being rejected , marginalized, or dismissed due to ignorance. I still don't tell people I am bipolar if I feel they would use the information to harm me. But the majority of the time I am met with understanding and at the very least curiosity. My fear of rejection stems from my own shame. I know it's not my fault .I know there is nothing I could have done to change my brain chemistry. I flat out know that I am powerless against the diagnosis. Yet I still blame myself.

It is irrational for me to judge myself so harshly. You are supposed to be on your own team. However I sometimes can't help myself. The stigma of society coupled with my own self doubts hush me up! I want nothing more than to be able to share this burden with others. It is so hard to do when you think you will be judged harshly. However ,I must disclose whenever I believe it is healthy and safe .Why?Disclosing not only makes me a braver person ,it may also open up the possibility for further understanding. I would challenge myself and others to speak out about mental illness. The more we speak out the lesser the stigma. When I speak out , it also eradicates, bit by bit, the shame I feel myself.