Monday, July 28, 2014

Meds...




I recently went on a new medicine called Lexipro. I am adding it to my already numerous cocktail of meds. I have always been open to med changes especially when depressed. I would do anything to snap out of a funk.



This time was different though. I am wary, I am scared. My last episode was so debilitating that any change is fraught with fear. It was a manic episode and this is my first bout of depression since the episode ended. I hope the meds work. Coupled with therapy I hope I can get through this. Does anyone out there experience the same fear?



When I get depressed I am reminded how tricky of a deal this illness is. My chemistry is hard wired and I don't know if this med change will work. I have put my life in the hands of psychiatrists and I hope that is a good decision. I am still like so many others who gulp down their meds reluctantly. I hate having a daily reminder that I have this damned illness. I swallow the meds and hope for a good outcome. That's a lot of trust. But there is not a single time where I don't wish I never had this disease. I hate the side effects of the meds. It too is a daily reminder of the extent  of my illness

I am hoping things will work out . I am hoping this depression lifts. If meds do the trick, Hallelujah! If not I will continue to fight it.  Life is worth it even if it comes with a few side effects.



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