Most of my depression happens in the summer months . For whatever reason I am much better in the months of September through March. You could chalk that up to being just my cycle but I think it's more than that. My wellness comes not from medication and therapy, (although those are in place) but from somethings that are not always associated with mental illness.
It is the attitude of gratefulness during thanksgiving, the joy of giving at Christmas and the hopes of a new start on New Years Day that lift my spirit and puts me , well, in a good mood.
Thanksgiving is a time for me to focus on how fortunate I am. Yes I have a mental illness and I suffer, but I am also truly blessed. This Thanksgiving even more so because I am stable and can recognize the many good things in my life. So, in honor of Thanksgiving I thought I would share with you why I am grateful. It's not only good for me, but maybe it will give you, the reader, a chance to get to know me better.
I am first and foremost grateful for my family. My father and mother have been so supportive of my journey through mental illness. They have seen me through manic episodes , crushing depression and a number of hospitalizations. Their love has been constant. My Dad has been a loving presence in my life and a giver of the best kind. He gives his time and attention to me regardless of my state of mind. My mother is a psychiatric nurse and is highly educated in the area of mental illness. She is loving and smart. A gentle hand with a will of iron. She simply refuses to give up on me.
I have two boys, Jake and Danny. Jake is strong and kind, and doesn't hesitate to tell me he loves me. His words are a salve to my bipolar wounds. He is getting married in January, and brought a new light into our lives, his fiance Julie. She is lovely in every way.
Danny is a source of joy in my life. He is currently in college while working at the same time. He is a leader in Young Life, a christian youth organization. He recognizes my bipolar disorder but has a great attitude about it. While we are serious about it's destructive powers, we also laugh about it's quirkiness. He doesn't hesitate to challenge me to keep on the path of wellness. He calls me momma and verbally acknowledges his love for me.
I have a younger sister and brother. My sister is truly beautiful. She is smart and straightforward. She and her husband Kenny have always shown and voiced their support without hesitation. Their children, Cara, Ryan and Jenna are full of life and vigor. They amaze me with their talent and bring me such delight! My little brother is funny, with a wry sense of humor. He has funny nicknames for me and shares our bipolar diagnosis. He is struggling right now with his bipolar disorder yet he remains in my thoughts and prayers.
I continue, on a daily basis to be ever so grateful to my best friend Kathy. She is smart, funny compassionate and a true renaissance woman. She is a cook, an artist, a golfer and a realtor. It was her prompting and encouragement that got me to write this blog. She recognizes the limitations my bipolar disorder has imposed, and witnessed my depressions and manic episodes, yet remains my friend of some 30 years. Most of all she challenges me to rise above my mental illness and take on life regardless. She is a gift.
So, you see, I have many reasons to be grateful this Thanksgiving. I personally am grateful for my job, my medications and my doctor. They and she keep me stable and give me the ability to live life on the most basic level.
I am so fortunate to have all these things in my life. I still have mental illness and am constantly challenged by this disorder but I also have many blessings that offset its power in my life. I am one of the lucky ones. There are many who are not so fortunate. This Thanksgiving there are mentally ill persons who are in hospitals, languishing in jail or suffering silently in their everyday lives. It is my prayer this Thanksgiving that the conversation about mental illness will get so loud that it will cause a change. It is my hope that I can be part of that conversation, and offer some glimmer of hope to those affected through this blog.
Happy Thanksgiving!!
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