The most important piece!!

My relationship with my medications is complex. I love them and I hate them!

Every 2 months I get a shot of abilify and then on top of that take 4 other meds for my bipolar disorder. I take; lamictal, invega, aplenzin and vistaril. It's the combination that works for me and it has taken many years to finally get it right. I love that it keeps me stable and functioning. I hate the side effects. For me it is mostly nausea and weight gain. I can handle being a little sick to my stomach in the morning after taking them, but the weight gain is a constant nuisance.

Pill shaming is a very real thing. I have been told many times that meds are detrimental. I have been questioned as to how they affect me physically probably because of my weight. In the past some of the other meds I was on really slowed me down. On some of the meds I have developed a slur, a shuffle and grogginess. I've been drowsy, nauseated, restless and slow. In reality though the side effects were ten times better than the alternative.

It is my belief that meds are a necessary part of my day to day living. I would not be stable without them. No amount of vitamins, healthy life style habits,  or meditation would help stabilize my moods. These things in combination with my meds are effective in calming the bipolar waters of my mind. Meds, however are the most important piece of my wellness puzzle.

I have a chemical imbalance in my brain that is chronic. My acceptance of the role of medication in my recovery has been so important. If I had a physical illness I would not hesitate to take medication and would not be questioned about why I did so . There is such a stigma that goes along with taking psychiatric meds though. People question their safety and effectiveness. All I can say is that it is my personal experience that they work and are the most important factor in my response to bipolar disorder.

It may take awhile before a patient hits upon the right combination of meds. It is my opinion that this shouldn't cause as much concern as it does. In any treatment of physical illnesses, many treatment options are involved. It is no different with a mental illness. It just takes time to find the right blend of chemicals to treat the brain.

It is worth it to deal with side effects. I really have come to a place where i hate it but accept it as part of my life. Meds are the most important part of the mental illness wellness puzzle. If you are dealing with medication issues, I encourage you to hang in there. It does get better and recovery,  aided by meds, is possible!