For the boys

Jake , my oldest is getting married in January.  I am so proud of Jake and the man he has become. He is smart, loving and compassionate, and will make a wonderful husband. Jake has supported me in my struggles with mental illness and is a constant source of encouragement. He is always interested in how I am doing, even when he is busy with the goings on of his young life. I am so grateful for him!

Danny, Jake and Jake's fiance' Julie!!

Life as a bipolar mother is extremely challenging. You don't want to burden your children with your "stuff", but kids are perceptive and know when something is amiss. My struggles with mental illness were quite evident. I cycled through mania and depression and parented from afar. My ex got custody of the boys after our divorce. I kept involved in their lives through visitation, phone calls and family events, but I missed a lot. There was no explaining their circumstances without a conversation about mental illness. They responded with an inordinate amount of love and compassion though, and we are very close.

Danny and Jake , I feel, are better men because of their exposure to mental illness. They are resilient in the face of challenges and have empathy for the struggles of others. They have had their struggles as well, but seem to have weathered the storm that is bipolar disorder. Who knew that such a diagnosis in a mom would be so character forming in a son?!

I would encourage those who live with a mental illness and are parents to be open and informative about their diagnosis. Children have an amazing capability to adapt if they know the truth. Chances are they have guessed already that you are struggling and information goes a long way in assuaging fears.

In short, I live on in spite of a mental illness because of my motherhood. My children are a reason to combat my depression and guard against mania. Like many others, I do things for my children's sake. It is the ultimate motivator!!!