Golf and me...

I used to be a professional golfer. The reasons for my "used to be" status are many, but basically, life happened. The last time I took the game seriously was when I was 35 years old, before the birth of my son Daniel. I had started at 8 years old and played junior golf, college and professional golf as well. When I was pregnant with my first son I started teaching. Golf was a major part of my life and then I just stopped.

I wish I could write about my experiences with golf without mentioning my mental illness, but I can't. I was severely depressed during periods of my career and had several manic episodes during that time. That and other factors like time, my ability to financially afford it, and apathy, all contributed to the ending of my participation in the sport.

Now my sons are into the game. Danny loves to play and Jake has a goal of improving to the point of playing some amateur tournaments. I pulled out my old instruction books and re-read them in order to teach him. We go to the range and I give him lessons. and it has piqued my interest in golf again.

Presently I have a goal of returning to golf. I am walking and lifting small weights to get back into shape and will start hitting balls after the holidays. My goal is to play with my sons this summer! It is a major motivation for me to participate in the sport I loved so much with them. I probably won't play at the same level I used to and don't have any interest in playing competitively but that won't stop me from trying to beat the boys! I just want to have fun with it again!

The thing I have missed most about golf is the atmosphere . I loved the beauty of the golf courses I played and being outside and active was a strong talisman against my bipolar disorder. Basically when I play, my mind is off myself and I concentrate on the beauty of my surroundings. It's good to focus on something completely outside of my struggles, and I miss the opportunity to do so in the sport.

I really don't know how this is going to go! It is going to take a lot of effort and practice to get back into golf, but I welcome the challenge. I just want to have fun with it and enjoy the process. Wish me luck!!