Ok. So I am feeling better and I am experiencing the emergence of a lot of  feelings. When I am depressed I am numb and I don't feel much of anything. So, when the depression breaks,  I find myself experiencing a range of emotions.

Gratitude is the first emotion I feel. I am so thankful that I have survived another bout of depression! I can participate in life again. The black cloud has lifted and I can move on . Life isn't so scary and I feel a certain confidence that if I can survive an episode I can handle anything.

Fear is the other feeling I have. In the past, manic episodes have always followed a prolonged depression. I don't want to experience that again, and am terrified of another hospitalization. I have to trust that the Invega I take is going to work. No more mania with this med on board! I also have to trust that the work I have done in therapy will prevent another episode. I have worked hard on emotional issues, trying to find a balance between happy and sad.

I am trying to have confidence that this time will be different. However , if it is not I still have faith in my ability to handle this illness. I am not out of fight yet.

How do you feel when you are feeling better??