Moving on up...

If someone asked me today how I am feeling, I wouldn't answer with the pat answer of "Fine". I am better than fine. I am stable. I feel happy and even keel.

I don't know all the reasons there has been a shift in my mood. Perhaps  it was my med change. Adding Lexipro to my cocktail, seems to have facilitated a shift in my mood. However I would also
attribute improvement due to some conclusions I've come to about my bipolar disorder.

First I have been struggling to answer the question "Why"? I spent an undue amount of time and energy looking for the answer as to why I had such a violent episode. Finally a friend brought some clarity to the issue. She reminded me that there is no explanation to some of the events of our lives. Why stress about something you will never resolve. Until they find a cure, I have to resolve to fight on, let go of the past and move on.

Secondly I have to resolve to have resolve. I don't know all the elements of how to survive an episode , but I do know you have to have a fighting spirit! If you value your life you must not let the illness define you or determine every move you make in life. Fighting the good fight for the sake of your very life is well worth the effort.

It's good to feel happy. Yet it  I wish it were not such a once in a while event. I still have to fight for stability. I need to chill out and let the healing process continue. Most of all I need to live on!!