everyone now knows that the co-pilot of the German wings airplane that crashed into the French Alps, crashed the plane deliberately. He committed suicide along with mass murder. All major news networks are covering the story. I am a CNN watcher and the story is a major focus of their news cycle. It is all over the place that the co-pilot was suffering from psycho-somatic illnesses brought on by depression. He had a major depressive episode in 2009 and was treated with anti-psychotic injections. He hid his condition from his employer and flew on a day that a doctors note said he was unfit to fly.
I am reluctant to write about this story in my blog because it sickens me and it is beyond disturbing that an illness that I suffer from may have been the cause of such an act of violence. The reality is that a mentally ill person is much more likely to be a victim of a crime than a perpetrator. That fact however is disregarded when every tragedy that is a result of violence seems to be attributed to the mentally ill. Whenever I hear of a mass shooting or a violent tragedy involving an individual with questionable mental health issues, I cringe. The stories that come out afterwards are replete with misinformation that result in the stigmatization of those with mental illnesses like depression and bipolar disorder. Yet most of these stories point to one fact, that untreated mental illness is dangerous and those who are non-compliant with treatment can be a threat to themselves and others.
I am in treatment for bipolar disorder. I have experienced both major depressive episodes and major manic episodes. I have experienced psychosis and was treated with injections of Invega, an anti-psychotic medication. I now take Invega orally, along with a medication regimen of anti-depressants and mood stabilizers. I have never contemplated hurting anyone, even myself. I am reluctant to admit these facts though for fear of being misjudged. I follow my treatment plan to the letter. I see a psychiatrist and faithfully take my medications and see a therapist. I am so hyper responsible that I don't even drive for fear that my meds slow my reaction time. I err on the side of caution and I hold myself responsible for my actions regardless of a bipolar disorder.
I realize that such full disclose is risky. What will people think? Will they lump me in with those who are so negatively portrayed in the media? What if my employer finds out that I am mentally ill? I have had to face these questions and have come up with the answer. More people who have struggled with mental health issues and have persevered and even succeeded, should speak out to decrease the stigma associated with mental illness.
It is unconscionable that Libitz was able to pilot that airplane. I don't believe you are capable of certain things when severely depressed. I never make a major decision when depressed, I don't take on responsibilities that are beyond my ability to handle. I am very careful in my actions and relationships. If you are being treated and are compliant with treatment I believe you should do the same thing. If you are mentally ill and refuse treatment and or are refusing to take medication ,I believe that is dangerous. You are flirting with disaster. If you do not pose a threat to others, you , at the very least, pose a threat to yourself. You may not self-harm, but you will suffer the loss of relationships, employment, and parts of yourself.
During a news story like this it is very difficult to "come out" and admit to a mental illness. There is so much stigma surrounding diseases of the brain and no one wants to be seen as different. The stigma is only increased when the media covers one of these events. The words madman, crazy and psychotic are thrown around way too easily. In reality there are millions of people who suffer from some form of mental illness. One in four adults suffer from a mental disorder. The vast majority of those millions suffer silently. They suffer as they go about their daily lives, lives filled with the activities of daily living that "normal" people experience. They keep their illness hidden for fear of being found out and discriminated against. They keep their illness hidden because they are ashamed.
Hopefully in the wake of the latest tragedy there will be more discussion about the realities of mental illness. I fear however that because of the stigma surrounding diseases of the brain, less will be said and more assumed. It should not be assumed because of a few random instances that depression is attention seeking. The hallmark of my depression is that I isolate, hide and fall under the radar. Many,like me withdraw and try to go about their activities of daily living with great difficulty. Those who suffer so should really speak out at a time like this so others will know that we, if treated, are not a threat.
Treatment is the key here. It is my responsibility to take my medication , to seek help and disclose my illness so I can get the treatment I need. I am not ashamed anymore to admit I have a mental illness. What I would be ashamed of is to ignore the symptoms and consequences of bipolar disorder and let it dominate my life. I don't want it to influence my thinking and actions. SO, I go forward being hyper vigilant. Although being vocal about a mental illness can help to irradicate stigma, I believe that one's actions determine others perceptions. We need people who have a mental illness and are being proactive in their treatment to speak out and serve as examples of what mental illness really looks like.
No comments:
Post a Comment