Politics, religion and the sanctity of life...

Like so many, I have been following the current political news. The primaries are underway, and things are getting heated. For good reason the two parties are opposed to each other. They have two distinct views on the role of religion in our society and the sanctity of life.

Daniel, my precious son!!  

When I was younger, and to be honest, until recently; I was a proud democrat. Now I know its not politically correct to call out one side or the other, but at some point you have to choose a side to believe in. I now lean right, and for a myriad of reasons. For starters, I believe in the sanctity of life. The Republican party put justices on the Supreme court who will defend the rights of the unborn. This trumps all other rights that a woman may claim. Again, I am probably offending some readers of this blog, but so be it.


I realize that the discussion of politics and religion are somewhat taboo. However I am tired of avoiding the subjects in order to appease someone's fragile sensibilities. Isn't it time we all tackled the tough issues of our times? Can't we do so with our civility in tact? I hope so.


So we have to ask the big question, "Why am I here?".  I believe we are all here on this planet to reflect God's glory, to love our neighbor as we would like to be loved; and serve others. The Golden rule sums it all up. Yet Jesus goes further and tells the Pharisee to love God with all your mind, soul and strength. So, in my mind, it is imperative to use our brain's to grapple with the difficult topics encountered in this life.


So, as far as religion and politics go, my mind is made up. I am a Christian and I make no apologies anymore for my beliefs. Life is precious, and that is a value that everyone can agree on. Can't we? Politics, although it is a touchy subject; is becoming more and more a part of my awareness. I am more and more conservative as I enter my senior years. If this offends, my stance remains the same. It is what it is.  I'll let the chips fall where they may and let God do the judging.

Save the children!

So I find myself entrenched in the toughest period in my long battle with Mental Illness. I haven't checked in in a while, but better late than never! I am attending a Partial Program, and am making progress but sometimes the wheel turns slow.

The jest of the matter is, that ; my brain needs medication for the rest of my life in order to function, and live life to the fullest. My worst fear is that I will run out of the will to stay on track and complete my treatment. For those who read this blog, your thoughts and prayers are so needed during the dark moments I encounter.

The thing about mental illness, regardless of the diagnosis, is they all interfere with the valuable time and efforts a human being expends here on earth. Perhaps the tragedy of out time;

is the lack of services and treatment options for our precious children. This must change!

So this a short blog; but I firmly believe that we as a nation will face these challenges with courage and vigor. Perhaps America will once again be the shining beacon of hope. The world is awaiting our direction and I am sure they will follow. As always, Sincerely, Donna Watson.

Donna's Bipolar Buzz: Going forward....

Donna's Bipolar Buzz: Going forward....:  During difficult times I rely on the wisdom of others. One of my favorite authors John Maxwell described how to tackle problems. He said ba...

Going forward....

 During difficult times I rely on the wisdom of others. One of my favorite authors John Maxwell described how to tackle problems. He said bad experiences are a spring board for creativity. The steps he outlines are to define the problem, brainstorm numerous pathways and after receiving the input of others; implement a course of action!

I am currently facing a difficult diagnosis. I am determined to heed Maxwell's wisdom and implement it into my daily life. I start a program this week that I am hoping will help me cope with mental illness.

I  hope my struggles will in some way benefit others who have the same issues! So, onward I go . Prayers are much appreciated!

Donna's Bipolar Buzz: Grateful and blessed..

Donna's Bipolar Buzz: Grateful and blessed..: Thanksgiving has always been a special time for me. It is a time to express to those we love how grateful we are for their presence in our l...

Grateful and blessed..

Thanksgiving has always been a special time for me. It is a time to express to those we love how grateful we are for their presence in our lives and to thank our Maker for all He blesses us with. Never has Thanksgiving held as much meaning for me as this Thanksgiving.

On November 11th I went to the doctor to get my shot of Abilify and talked to her about my state of mind. She said that based on my history and especially my last 5 visits with her she was going to diagnose me with Generalized Anxiety Disorder or GAD. I unfortunately met the criteria for diagnosis to a tee, and it was upsetting to be diagnosed with yet another disorder. I am a 24 karat manic depressive as well. My bipolar disorder runs along the classic lines of symptoms. Being bipolar 1, I have periods of depression followed  by hypomanic and manic episodes. Depression is the dominating state of my being though. I have long periods of it, and it wears me down. If there is a major life event such as divorce, a move, or just me stuffing my feelings, my manic me surfaces. It is a cycle that I have repeated over and over again since I was 21. I am 55 so it has been a long journey.

I honestly thought that I had the illness licked. I hadn't had an manic episode since 2010. The last one was significant and I was in the hospital for 9 months. I finally regained my sanity but not without a price. My confidence was shot and I lived with a low grade depression for a long time after the hospitalization ended. Depression wore me down and I didn't react well to the challenges of life. I stuffed my feelings and took it on the cheek for the past 10 years. I finally just imploded last week. I had a episode featuring hypomania ( a precursor to full blown mania) and what some people would call a nervous breakdown. I simply couldn't fight anymore.

Although it has been only 18 days since this all started I am over the worst of it. My sanity has returned and I am fully engaged in reality. I still have some symptoms that are annoying but my house is super clean!!  That boundless energy and grandiosity have subsided and I am sleeping .

Now the challenge will be to enter into a phase of recovery and figure out why I am so prone to depression and so vulnerable to mania. I am seeking help not just from my psychiatrist and psychologist but am also going to enter an outpatient program to aggressively discover how I can stay well.

So, having said all that, I am celebrating the holiday season with family and friends. I am very blessed to have their love and support. We are a very close family and we all share the belief that we can overcome anything with the help and grace of God and others. I am so grateful for many things during this time. Medication is a godsend, the professionals I am seeing are amazingly pro-active in facilitating my recovery and ensuring a future of stability and wellness.

I sincerely wish those who read this blog a Happy Thanksgiving and a blessed holiday season. If you,  a loved one or a colleague is suffering from their mental illness though, may you find peace and comfort as  well as much needed help. Contact NAMI for family and peer support. Call the National Suicide hotline if you are at your wits end or reach out before things reach a boiling point. The number is 1-800-273 8255. The hotline is a source of comfort and help to ALL those suffering and living with a mental illness not just those who feel like harming themselves.

Some have reached their limit, and are contemplating or planning to end their pain. I would encourage you to reach out for help immediately and cling to the hope that there will be a better tomorrow! I am living proof that mental illness doesn't always win the day. As I enter into my current phase of recovery, I am confident that I will learn how to better mange this most complicated of illnesses. A heartfelt wish to all for a holiday season of help and healing !

Ain't that a kick in the head...

Yesterday I got my shot of Abilify. I get it every two months and it really hits me hard the first day. Yesterday was no exception. Yet something was different this time around. My response to the shot was  not one of quiet resignation. I finally gave voice to my frustration to the doctor and asked for more help.

I have been getting this shot for the past 4 years. The day I get it is really rough. I experience extreme tiredness and my head feels like lead. I talked to my doctor about it and she said it was normal to feel this way until the medicine reaches a therapeutic level. However I am coming to realize that my reaction is just as much psychological as it is physical.

Getting that shot and checking in with my psychiatrist are heavy duty reminders that I am battling a very nasty, chronic disease. Bipolar disorder is a bear, and when i visit the doctor, I usually express to her how tired I am getting of it all. Yesterday I cried and had a semi-meltdown in her office. I confessed to her that I was dreading the shot and resentful of having to take meds. It's not that I want to be non-compliant I just wanted reassurance that things would be okay.

After several minutes of ranting, my doctor and I agreed that I needed to add some new weapons to my arsenal against my mental illness. I had already added several  new approaches upon returning from a vacation. I started taking vitamins and changed my diet completely. I am going radical in my attempt to lose the weight I have gained on meds. I also started walking again. Not just my usual strolls to work or the store, but a solid 45 minutes a day at a good clip. I am also attempting to quit smoking. I am starting by limiting the number I can smoke a day and working my way down to just one at the end of the day.

I must admit that I feel a little overwhelmed by all the changes, but I will do anything to stay stable so I can really be present. I have so much to live for and I don't want to let bipolar disorder win the day. I do accept that it is a fight to keep moving forward in my recovery. Lots of bad coping mechanisms have to go and be replaced by healthy ways of being.

My belief that I am in a fight for my life does not mean that I don't accept my diagnosis. I am aware that sometimes it's enough to just breathe and live to fight another day. However I cannot and will not settle for a mediocre life defined by symptoms. I will fight to live a life of meaning regardless of the fact that my brain is sick.

When I look into my son's eyes, experience the support of friends and family, and receive empathetic care from my doctors, I realize that I am so fortunate to have that much love and attention. I am lucky and I know it big time. And so I am determined to see things through for their sake as much as for mine. Living a "best" life with bipolar is a challenge I am willing to accept. And so I fight on. As Winston Churchill stated, "Never, never, never give up!!!"