Going forward...

I have been thinking a lot about attitude lately. In general I have a good one but every once in a while I get in a funk and my thoughts turn negative. I think when I do go south, it is fueled by a kind of grief. You see, I don't want to have a mental illness. In fact I hate it, and that is not a good thing.

Rather than being angry that I have bipolar disorder I am having to learn to accept it which is a much better way to be. My moods are stable so it's easier to come to terms with the fact it is a chronic illness. Although it will last my lifetime it is not wearing me out in the present. Shifting from depression to mania is exhausting , so I am grateful for the current reprieve of symptoms.

So now comes the hard part. Now that I am well, I have to figure out what I want my life to look like. I crave productivity because so many times my efforts are stymied by depression. So I have been asking myself, what can I do that will give me a sense of fulfillment and actually mean something?

What I have come up with is that during my time off from work I am going to get involved in volunteer work with those who are also affected by mental illness. Also, I would like to get into advocacy. There are many issues that are related to mental illness that can find solutions politically and since I have always been interested in politics I think it will be a good fit.

All in all my attitude is one of looking forward and making the most of the present. My dad always told me that attitude is a decision and one you have to make regardless of circumstances. So onward I go, deciding each day to embrace my life despite living with bipolar disorder. I'll keep you all updated on my progress!